The Black Veil
by Silvermoontwentyseven
Summary: Shredder has taken hold of Leo's mind. Warped and twisted into a mold of the one they hate so much, Leo becomes everything his family has always feared. With no choice left but to fight, the brothers are left to defend themselves against an impossible situation. But how can they possibly spill their own blood? (2012 DARK LEO)
1. Prologue

**New story time! I've had a lot of trouble feeling motivated so I decided to post a story I planned to write, like, two years ago!**

 **This will be an alternate version of the Dark Raph episode from the 2012 series...with a Dark Leo! Whoo!**

 **Just a disclaimer, I planned this story to be super dark, graphic, and intense. I really want to test some limits here and see where that takes this piece. Don't know how long it will be, because you all know I can't write anything short.**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _My heart's an artifice, a decoy soul_

 _Who knew the emptiness could be so cold?_

 _I've lost the parts of me that make me whole_

 _I am the darkness, I'm a monster_

- _Monster, Starset_

{Raph}

My heart is beating out of my chest. Everything is pulsing, throbbing, aching. My mind is nothing more than fragments and shards, projecting rapidly behind my burning eyes.

It happened so fast. They came out of nowhere, so many of them. Smoke and blinding powder—blades and shuriken—sent us into a frenzy.

Leo's voice echoes in my head on an endless loop.

 _Stay together!_

We tried.

But Mikey got hit, and he went down, and I broke formation going after him. Then chaos erupted, and suddenly, we were all separated, fighting just to keep on our feet, struggling to breathe behind the mass of powder and gas filling the warehouse. By then, we all knew this was an ambush. That we were lured there, and we probably wouldn't escape.

 _Raph? Donnie?_

I can still hear him, screaming in my brain. The clanging of steel and ragged breath. I found Mikey and fought to keep the Foot away from him while he cradled his bleeding head. I couldn't see Donnie, I couldn't see Leo. I couldn't even see the bastards attacking me. Forced to the ground, I ended up using myself as a meat shield to protect Mikey. The blows came from all sides; stabbing pain, dull aches, jabs, shocks—it was relentless. The panic was so real, so incredibly cold and unforgiving. I thought we were going to die, suffocated and beaten to death on the concrete—

Until all of the sudden, there was silence.

The smoke began to lift. I hovered over Mikey, knees and elbows trembling at the task of bearing my own weight. Every muscle screamed and stung. Sweat, blood and grime dripped from me. My jaw clenched, teeth grit.

 _Keep your eyes open, Mikey—stay with me—_

His head was smeared with crimson.

 _Stay with me, damn it—_

I called for Leo. I screamed. The desperation echoed through the warehouse and came back to me in waves, the emptiness mocking me.

But then I heard Donnie groan. I blinked hard, rubbing the blood and tears from my face so I could see more than two feet in front of me.

 _Donnie? Donnie, Mikey's hurt—we need help—_

He stumbled over to us, knees trembling. His bo staff was shattered, his body littered in welts and cuts. He coughed and grabbed my shoulder for support.

 _L-Leo—_

His voice was raw and hoarse. Chest heaving, my eyes searched for our brother—but even as the smoke waned, I felt a hollowness in my gut. Somehow, I knew.

 _Donnie,_ I gasped, _Donnie, where's Leo? What happened?_

His words broke me, down to my core, and beyond.

 _They took him—_

No—

 _They took him, Raph—_

No, they didn't—they couldn't—

 _He's gone—_

My fists clench the wheel of the Shellrazor as I rip myself from the nightmare. I'm swerving from lane to lane, screeching through intersections and trying to block out the persistent beeping of Donnie's T-phone.

"I'm still not getting a signal—I've tried everything!" The fear constricts his voice. It fills the air. Everything is thick, heavy, ready to crumble. It's taking everything I have not to lose it completely.

"Keep trying!" I snap. "We have to find him!"

My eyes scour the streets, desperate to see a glimpse of a van—something, _anything_. I'm trying to drown out the thoughts, the ones that whimper and cower in the corners of my skull, telling me it's too late, he's long gone. We don't know where he went or why. He could be dead—he's probably dead—

The beeping continues. The _NO SIGNAL FOUND_ message blinks behind my eyes. No signal. No Leo. Nothing.

 _Dead._

The Shellrazor quivers and rumbles as I slam my foot on the gas. We tear down the street, knocking over trash cans, setting off car alarms—all the things we shouldn't be doing in the middle of the night. But I don't care. The combination of rage and fear rivals what it felt like the first time we lost him. The first time the explosion shook our world and stole so much from us. The memories and emptiness only fuel the terror we're feeling now. The urgency that burns through our veins; the blinding and hot and nightmarish reality that has its hand around our throats.

We can't lose him again. We couldn't survive another instant of that. We have to find him, before it's too late.

And part of me wonders if it already is.

* * *

 **Anybody interested? Yes, no? Nobody cares because I never post anything so you all have moved on? For those of you left, let me know!**


	2. Hostage

**Alright, next chapter, everybody! Thank you for the positive response to the last chapter-I am SUPER excited to spend the summer working on this fic! I graduate on Thursday and then I'm FREE FROM SCHOOL...until I go back for my master's and cry at all the money I spent.**

 **Anywho, let me know what you guys think of this one! Your reviews and favorites are really motivating feedback, so thank you so much for taking the time to read my stuff! *hugs***

* * *

 **Chapter One:**

 **Hostage**

 _The nightmare bleeds, t_ _he poison seeps_

 _I hear you call_

 _You're screaming, screaming_

 _-Falling Sky, Red_

{Leo}

 _Leo? Leo!_

Pain, smoke—everything burning in white clouds of potent chemicals. My swords seem to hit everything—the walls, boxes, a pole, cables—but not the ones who ambushed us. I can't even see them. My muscles are on fire, uselessly swinging in every direction because now the fear has taken over, squeezing my heart and crawling up my throat, into my head, seizing my thoughts, my instincts. I can't speak or scream or anything. Every inch of me stings like poison. I breathed too much of it in, I can't get it out. My lungs are full and stuck together, sticking to my ribs, collapsing, chest heaving. It's so hard to breathe—it's so hard to do _anything._ All I hear is my brothers, shouting, fighting, panicking.

 _Leo—Leo, we need help—_

I have to help them—

 _Where are you?!_

But I can't see them-

 _Mikey's down!_

I can't _see them—_

 _Leo!_

My eyes open to the ghost of their screams. I expect panic to strike me, but my mind is slow to creep from the fog in my skull. Everything feels heavy, swollen, and numb. I can't move anything—I can't even get my fingers to twitch. All I see is darkness.

It takes a few minutes, hours, lifetimes—to realize my head is bound in some cloth. It's the only thing I can feel beyond the thick, tingling needles that prick my skin. It's so dark, so quiet, and yet so loud, as if I'm held to the clouds in the middle of a storm beneath a million miles of ocean. Like thunder rumbling, cracking, shaking the ground, my bones, the world—but the water is pouring in my ears, filling my head, my lungs—pulling me further down into the deep cold. I'm dizzy and nauseous. It's all too much, too heavy—I can't stay awake. There is no sense, there is no direction.

There is only darkness...

...

...

 _Leo—_

 _Help—_

 _LEO—_

I wake up to shivers. My wrists are cold. My ankles, too. I blink hard, struggling to clear my vision. I think the cloth is gone; I can see some lights flickering around me. Colors—red, blue, green, white—like flashing stars.

I try to clear my throat, to cough the tar from my lungs, but everything is so dry. It hurts to swallow. To breathe. It hurts to do anything.

Air quivers, in and out, teeth grit against the pain that's beginning to settle in. My head aches and throbs, splitting at the seams while the memories and sounds play in fragments, echoing. When I close my eyes, I see the clouds of white, I feel the burn, the panic, the sheer terror and confusion that swallowed us whole. I hear my brothers—I hear Mikey cry out, I hear Raph, shouting at me. The waves ripple, washing over me, drowning me.

My eyes snap open, brimming with tears as it hits me. That was real. We were ambushed, separated—

I couldn't breathe, the world spun—

I don't remember anything else—

What happened—

 _What happened?!_

I become overwhelmed. My senses are returning to me, but that only makes this all so much worse. I squirm, grunting and gasping. I'm strapped down. Metal bands secure each hand and foot. When I try to lift my head, I quickly discover my neck and forehead are held down in restraints. I'm in a dark room, save for the blinking dashboards of buttons and glowing vials. The realization that I've been taken captive is sudden and ruthless. My heart skips, my chest pulls. I can't breathe, I can't breathe—

"It's wearing off of him."

The voice startles me, but my limited range of movement makes it impossible to see who's in the room with me.

"Did you give him enough?"

Another voice comes from the shadows with a chuckle. "Enough to knock out a bull—"

"Does he look like a bull to you?"

My breath hitches, heart stumbling up against ribs. I don't recognize the voices of the men around me. They don't sound like Stockman, Bradford, or Fishface. But I _know_ it was Shredder's goons who jumped us in that warehouse.

"Do I need to give him more, then?" A shadow moves into frame on my left. I see a glint of a needle and my eyes widen. I try to wriggle away, but parts of my body still feel like dead weight, and the rest is strapped down so tight I don't gain an inch in either direction.

I still can't see the second man, but his voice is much deeper. "No, I'll just hook him up to the EEG. I want to see his brain waves in action. Just give him some Rocuronium to keep him still."

A pitiful sound squeezes out of my throat. The man closest to me chuckles.

"You with us now, mutant?" He leans down by the side of my face, but somehow, still out of clear view. All I see is the syringe waving back and forth out of the corner of my eye. "Don't worry, you won't be much longer."

I flinch when fingers begin pressing on my scalp. Something brushes my temple—wires? A beeping starts up somewhere in the room. I don't think my heart can beat any faster. I grit my teeth and grunt when a sharp sting runs up my arm.

"IV's in and flushed—starting the Roc drip."

He steps away from me and moves back into the darkness. The man attaching the wires to my head also steps back and begins to press buttons. _Clack, clack, click, clack, clack._

"EEG's up and running."

I can't get anything other than scratchy groans out from my raw throat, but the panic really takes over as a startling warmth begins to spread through my veins. I quickly lose the ability to move my hands and feet. Whatever medicine he gave me crawls up through my blood and freezes all of my muscles. I want to scream, I want to cry—I want to rip all of these wires from me and run my swords through anyone who stands in my way of leaving—

"Look at those waves go—his brain must be freaking out."

The deep voice responds. "There's a lot of activity, even after the non-depolarizing agent."

"Do I call Stockman in now?"

 _Stockman?_ What's going on?

A loud laughter erupts. "You honestly think Saki trusts that fool enough for this? Don't be ridiculous. Whatever intelligence Baxter has is ruined by his incessant god-complex and pathetic need for approval. He's an imbecile."

"Good. I hate working with that bastard."

 _Click, clack, click, click, clack._

"We're the only two appointed to this task. I'll let Saki know we have the set-up completed, and once I configure what electromagnetic frequency best manipulates his brain waves, we'll calibrate the worm."

 _The worm? What worm?_

My thoughts are spiraling out of control. Shredder will be here. I can't move, I can't fight—I'm completely useless. I couldn't be anymore vulnerable than I am now. They're going to kill me—I'm going to die here. What am I supposed to do?

Another chuckle. The machine they attached to my head beeps at a higher pitch. I can't see it, but I can assume my panic is causing my "waves" to spike. The one who had the needle finally steps into my vision, but I can no longer move my eyes. Shadows conceal most of his facial features, but his eyes are gray like fog against his pale complexion. He stares right at me and shows a toothy grin.

"You hear that? Your pal Shredder is going to pay you a visit." His eyes flash, and my heart climbs into my throat. "And then, _mutant_ …we're going to have some fun."

* * *

 **AHHHH. SO MANY THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. WHO ELSE IS EXCITED?!**

 **It's okay, Leo, you'll be in good hands! I almost have a medical license, so I'm almost qualified for this! :D**


	3. Turning

**Short but frequent updates, finally! I want to try updating every day or two...at least for the summer. I need to work on my writing and my drawing!**

 **Speaking of which, I started a Tumblr for TMNT stuff, including my fanfictions and my doodles (like human Leo!) I go by silvermoon27 on there! Go figure. Anyway, I thought it would be a fun thing to try while I have free time. I'll be posting excerpts of upcoming chapters as well :) And hopefully more doodles. If you have the time, go check it out!**

 **Enjoy the update, and as always, thank you for the amazing feedback!**

* * *

 **Chapter Two:**

 **Turning**

 _I feel a change in the air_

 _The horizon stirs_

 _Above, the lightning flares_

 _And the wheel starts to turn_

 _-The Mask Slips Away, Red_

{Karai}

I glance up at the skylight as the rain begins to fall. It patters and clacks against the glass, disrupting the silence of my room. I stare at the clouds rumbling overhead and smothering the night in fog and chill.

What I would give to simply climb out and disappear. I sigh and blow out the candle by the bed.

It's the middle of the night. Normally I would be wandering the city, but Father has been recovering for over a week now, and has ordered me to remain inside until our forces have strengthened. In other words, his ass was handed to him and the realization has all but crippled him.

Our bond has never been strong, but I have never seen it so weak before. He's become unsure of my loyalty, of everything we have ever had—I guess that makes two of us. He keeps me on an ever-shortening leash, convinced I'm conspiring against him. I can't say I blame him, though. Thoughts of abandoning my "clan" and running away to have my own life somewhere have been quite tempting as of late. But I'm sure he would find me. And probably kill me.

I get up and walk out of my room, across the hall, down the endless layers of stairs and corridors. The rain picks up, pounding against the windows on every side of me. I wish the storm would shatter the glass and set me free, or that the lightning would strike and burn this place to the ground.

Everything is unusually quiet. I don't see any guards, and those two lab rats Father hired aren't sniffing around either. I head toward his throne room where he insists on staying and push the massive doors open. They creak and groan at the task of revealing the candlelit hall and glowing waters sealed beneath the thick glass floor.

I see him sitting there, and my eyes narrow on his bandaged form. He's speaking to someone on the other end of his phone, keeping his voice low. He glances at me and ends the connection. _Beep._

Something's up. I knew it.

The doors close heavily behind me. I approach his throne, hand on my hip. "What're you doing, Father? Who was that?"

He scowls at me as he struggles to rise from his chair. His wounds fester, deep and relentless beneath the stained gauze. He was lucky to escape the last encounter with Splinter and the turtles.

 _Unfortunately._

"Business," he answers, short and taut. "Business that I must attend to."

His clothes and wrappings are soaked with sweat. I take a step toward him, my hand reaching out to stop him when he inevitably collapses. "You're not healed yet—do you really think you should be—"

"There is no rest, Karai," he snaps. "The longer I sit here like this, the longer our clan suffers from the stain on our honor."

I straighten my shoulders. _You're the stain on our honor._

But there is no use in arguing over this anymore. I submit, I obey—for now.

"Yes, Father."

He winces, nostrils flaring at the exertion. But he stands, fists clenched, and begins to descend the steps.

"Observe the recruitment training," he growls. "I will be gone awhile."

"The recruits are asleep," I remind him. "It's the middle of the night."

Thunder shouts outside the walls. A flash streaks across the windows. The rain pours.

"Wake them up, then." He mutters something about _no rest_ under his breath. I swear, this man is growing more insane by the day.

I turn to watch him limp from the room. "Where are you going?"

Somehow, he reaches the doors, and somehow, he manages to pry them back open. I can hear his teeth grit at the effort it takes. He's weaker than I thought.

His gruff voice echoes through the throne room. The candles flicker at the sound.

"We have company."

He leaves—the doors shut, booming along with the thunder.

The rain pours.

* * *

 **Enter Shredder-and Karai!**

 **DUN DUN DUNNNNN**

 **WHAT WILL HAPPEN? I DON'T KNOW!**

 **Well, I mean, I do...but it's a super secret.**


	4. Lost

**Next chapter, YES. Sorry for the short delay, I had my graduation on Thursday and family stuff, but here you go: some Raph feels! Which I think we can all agree are the best feels.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three:**

 **Lost**

 _If I could pull you from the wreckage.  
We'd be alright.  
Oh Lord, don't tell me this is happening.  
If I could hold you for a second  
We'd be alright.  
Oh Lord, don't tell me this is happening_

 _-Still Alive, Blessthefall_

{Donnie}

It's pouring now. Thunder crashes, lightning strikes overhead—everything's a haze of mist and rain.

We've pulled the Shellrazor into an alley. I sit on the bottom step with Mikey slumped against me, holding the gauze on his head and staring out at the storm. Raph's trying to overturn the city. Trash cans are thrown, dumpsters flipped on their side, fire escapes climbed once and then twice, just to make sure. Every roof has been scoured, every manhole searched. We drove the streets for two hours and found nothing—not a single trace of our brother.

I close my eyes and rest my chin on Mikey.

"Don't fall asleep, okay?" I whisper, nudging him gently. He tucks his knees to his chest and mumbles.

"But I'm tired…"

"I know—I am too. We just have to make sure your head's okay. The bleeding's stopped, but you could have a concussion."

"I'm fine."

The sky rumbles. Somehow, the rain comes down harder, splashing us in the doorway of the Shellrazor. I notice Mikey starting to shiver and pull him closer.

"Leo's strong," he whispers. "And smart. He knows how to take care of himself…and he always comes home…" He sighs heavily as Raph shouts in the distance, enraged and broken and lost and scared.

"We'll find him…right, Donnie?"

My heart sits heavy in my chest. I wrap my arms around him and nod. "We'll find him, Mikey, don't worry."

I look up at the storm suffocating the night sky.

"We should go home. We're not making any progress with the rain like this."

"Try telling Raph that."

I sigh. We're going to have a hell of a time getting Raph back on the Shellrazor. I can't blame him—none of us want to go home without Leo. None of us want to face Splinter— _again_ —and have to tell him we lost our brother to our worst enemy. I can feel my gut churning at the thought. Everything is heavy and sick and twisted inside of me.

"Stay here," I mumble. "I'll go get him."

~T~

{Raph}

The sky screams around me. Rain pours, thunder crashes, shouting amongst the clouds, throwing bolts of bright blue lightning in its wake. It screams for me, cries for me, drowns the world out for me because I can't, I'm weak in the knees, my chest full of lead and water and pain and I just want to collapse and cry on the asphalt but I can't—Leo's still out here, somewhere, I _know_ it.

And I know I shouldn't, I know I need to stop, but my fist smashes into the nearest glass window; just to feel something break beneath my bones, just to hear the sound and feel the sting of blood running down my knuckles and mixing with the ever-present rain. An alarm starts ringing, but it sounds like an insect compared to the cacophony of the storm overhead.

I lean against the wall, breathing hard, mind stumbling over every thought. The blood drips from my fingers. I clench my hand, hoping the pain will blunt the panic and anguish. It doesn't.

I searched every rooftop, scoured the streets below. No cars, no vans, no motorcycles or Foot soldiers or _anything_. It's like it never even happened.

"Raph? Raph!"

I close my eyes and feel the rain wash my face. Donnie's footsteps splash in the street as he runs to me. I already know what he's going to say. I know Leo's gone. No amount of running around up here is going to do anything.

"Raph—wait, are you bleeding? Are you okay?"

He grabs my hand—I let him, let him inspect and lecture me. I let the rain wash his words away.

"Shell, Raph, you need to be careful. You can't go around breaking stuff—"

"I can't find him."

The steadiness of my voice surprises me.

Donnie stares, eyes full of pain and worry and defeat, but all of that is glossed over by a look of sheer exhaustion.

"We'll get him back, Raph," he says firmly, gripping my hand tight. "I promise, we will. But right now… The storm's too much. We have to go home, regroup, come up with a plan—something. We're just wasting time out here."

My chest fills with air that goes nowhere. "…I know."

His gaze holds my face steady. A sound becomes strangled in his throat—he steps forward and hugs me.

"It's okay," he says, over and over. "We're okay—he's okay…"

I don't hug him back. My arms feel so heavy. Everything is. I want to believe Donnie—I want to trust in him, like I should have the last time we lost Leo. But my thoughts are a whirlwind of destruction and fear and ache. I'm so scared, my body is becoming numb, unable to handle the rush of cold, the what-ifs, the thoughts of Leo, alone and broken and hurt and dead—

 _He's not dead—_

But he could be.

I clench my jaw and snap my eyes shut. The thunder crashes, breaking the train of nightmares in my brain.

"…Come on, Raph."

Donnie's voice brings me back. I'm shivering. He squeezes my shoulders.

"Mikey's waiting, we gotta get back to him. We have to get home."

Lightning streaks through the clouds. I swallow hard, throat raw, and nod. I let him hold my arm as we walk back to the Shellrazor, soaking wet, cold to our bones.

We get back in the subway car. Mikey simply looks at me with gray blue eyes, with that same defeat and exhaustion Donnie wears in his own. I sit beside him, numb to my core.

There is silence as Donnie drives us through the flooded streets. The rain follows us, washing us back down to the sewers towards home.

Alone.

* * *

 **My poor babies, why do I enjoy hurting you so?**

 **Next chapter, back to Leo! And things are gonna get intense. YAY TORTURE.**

 **Thank you for all your lovely reviews, guys! I hope you're enjoying this story so far. See you in a few days with the next chapter!**


	5. Sleep

**Whoo, update! Sorry this one took longer. I've been working a lot *sigh***

 **Okay, side note: So in real life, the drug Leo has been given to paralyze him is what we give to a patient when we intubate them and connect them to the ventilator/breathing machine. In real life, their diaphragm would also be paralyzed, so the person stops breathing. Obviously Leo is still breathing, but he's not intubated because I'm cheating for the sake of the story. Let's all just pretend he's paralyzed but still breathing :)**

 **Needle and Brain are just random dudes I created, btw. I don't find many of the cannon TMNT villains that threatening. So we'll pretend they're peeps Shredder hired to help him recover from whatever fight he got into with Splinter, because his other henchmen are idiots.**

* * *

 **Chapter Four:**

 **Sleep**

 _You're feeling the rush of anguish settling  
You cannot help showing them in _

_Hurry up then_ _  
Or you'll fall behind and  
They will take control of you  
And you need to heal the hurt behind your eyes  
Fickle words crowding your mind_

-Poets of the Fall

{Leo}

The air was already taut with terror and fear—but it snaps in two when Shredder enters. I can't see him; the man I call Needle closed my eyelids awhile ago, robbing me of one of the few precious senses I have left. All I can do is lie here, strapped to a cold, metal table with no control over my body. I can't even open my damn eyes to see what's happening.

But I feel him in the room. I hear his heavy steps, the strangled grunt with each movement. Angry, ragged breaths. I picture him in my mind, hunched and broken. I remember him fleeing from our last encounter, when things got out of control and the building collapsed. Sensei had bested him—we all knew it. Shredder has been in a gradual mental decline, losing his mind in his psychotic story as he tries to convince himself that he's the one who was betrayed. But people can only lie to themselves for so long. And what I'm hearing now is only the shell of whatever man Oroku Saki used to be.

"Saki."

The deep voice—Brain, as I've named him—greets Shredder. They're both standing beside me. My skin crawls, knowing they're so close and I can't do anything. My heart hammers away at ribs, desperate, skipping beats while my mind rushes with nightmares.

Shredder is quiet for a moment. The silence is agonizing—I know he's looking at me, admiring the way his enemy lay captive before him. Knowing he has the son of the brother he hates so much. I wonder if he'll torture me to death and dump my broken, disfigured body at Splinter's feet. If he'll use me to lure my family into a trap and kill them in front of me. My family would do anything to save me. Imprisoned like this, we're all as good as dead.

"He's been medically paralyzed, but he can hear and feel everything. He knows you're here."

Brain _click clacks_ more on some computer. I hate that sound.

"His brain waves are being monitored on the screen above. I've tried several different EMF levels—turns out his mutant brain operates a few frequencies higher than the human brain."

Shredder grunts, still standing too close to me. "Can it be matched?"

"Of course—the worm's already been calibrated. And since it's a mutation between organic and inorganic materials, we'll be able to control it once it's inside the brain. I'll need to be careful maneuvering it—don't want to pop a vessel—but once I have it positioned posterior to the frontal lobe, we'll hook you up to the EEG as well and match the frequency."

"You gave me the impression earlier that this isn't total mind control," Shredder mutters. I know he's still staring at me, his eyes boring holes through my flesh.

Brain clicks his tongue. "No, not exactly. Your brain waves will be…connected, so to speak. What you think, what emotions you have—those will transfer over and manipulate his own thoughts and emotions. His personality, everything that makes him _him_ , will be blocked off, or drowned out. I've designed the worm to continuously emit that frequency, so whatever ideas you place in him within a few moments will remain, almost on a loop. But no, there's no joystick or buttons to press. It functions on the subliminal, the subconscious."

Another stretch of silence leads me to believe Shredder isn't entirely trusting this. It sounds crazy enough to me. Connecting our minds? Shutting my personality off? Mind control?

The fear just gets worse and worse. They're talking about putting a _worm_ in my _head_. Everything inside of me is so tense and wired and _terrified_ —I just want to rip my arms from the restraints and tear my eyelids off. I need to see, I need to move, I need to do something, _anything_ but lie here helpless while they talk about putting a freaking worm in my head—

"I can sense your…hesitation, Saki," Needle mutters, standing somewhere on my left. "It's understandable. You're wounded, vulnerable—and we're talking about connecting your brain to a machine."

Somehow I know Shredder is staring daggers. The way Brain and Needle talk to him make me feel as if they're on the same level. They don't address him as Master, and now Needle is practically flaunting Shredder's weakness in his face.

"Show me," Shredder growls. "Put on a frequency and show me what it does to the mutant."

 _Here we go._

I try to prepare myself—I try to steel over and find a calm place somewhere in my head. Even as a button is pressed and Needle chuckles, I try.

But it isn't a shock, like I expect. It isn't a sting or a burn or the blunt force of an object cracking bone. It starts as a slow hum. Almost like a vibration, but one that I can only hear. My heart skips and beats and skips in anticipation, waiting for the pain. But still, the hum.

"Nothing's happening."

Shredder's voice sounds far away.

"Wait for it. Keep a close eye on his vitals."

The hum turns into an ache—and the ache begins to spread along my skull, dulling my thoughts, my focus. When the ache has encompassed my brain, it begins to split; sharp stings from panicking tissue, the deep groan of aching bone, the shriek of vessels as they enlarge. It feels like a migraine—like my whole brain is going to burst inside my head and leak out my ears. I want to shout, beg them to stop; I want to twist and turn and grab my skull, but I can't move, I can't see, I can't _do anything—_

 _Make it stop, make it stop—_

The memories tear through my brain, scattering. I see Raph, Mikey, Donnie—I hear them crying out for help somewhere in the smoke. They need me. I can't die here. They need me—

Several loud beeps interrupt the chaos ripping through my body. The searing pain begins to decline, slowly, leaving a dull ache behind to remind me that I could die with the press of a button.

I'm breathing hard, heart flopping around in my chest—the only movements available to express my torment. My senses drag along, gradually returning to me.

"…obvious spikes in his heart rate, blood pressure, and brain activity. It is quite effective, Saki."

Shredder grunts in response. The room grows quiet—I know they're all watching me struggle to regain my composure. Watching my breathing slow, my heart rate slip down to two digits. I want to vomit.

"Very well." The atmosphere in the room shifts with those two words. "We shall proceed as planned."

Needle chuckles beside me, brimming with excitement.

"Have a seat then, my friend—let's get started."

* * *

 **BRAIN WAVES AND WORMS. Can't go wrong with that!**


	6. Gone

**Ugh, this update is SO OVERDUE. One of our little puppies was suddenly having cluster seizures about three weeks ago, and it's been a lot of vet bills and not sleeping. We were so proud of ourselves too for making a budget and saving money and then BOOM, it's all gone in a single day! Life gets crazy sometimes. I realized it has been weeks since I last updated, so I finished this really quick. I apologize for the delay, and I hope you guys enjoy this bit! Time to get this story movin.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five:**

 **Gone**

 _Separation, breaking_ _  
Splitting me inside  
Masquerading  
I see the monster behind  
Suffocate the life away  
I choke on your lies  
I'll descend, I'll burn the embers  
Now I can rise  
The war is just beginning_

 _-Step Inside (The Violence), Red_

{Oroku Saki}

The pain never ends. The rage never ends. And standing here, staring down at the mutant, at the abomination of my enemy, I feel it rushing through my blood, festering in every wound.

"You can sit right here, Saki."

I ignore Roth and glance at his brother, inputting commands into his machines.

"Is the paralytic necessary for the operation?"

Elias stops his work and turns to me. "For the first part, yes. The mutant is strong—even strapped down, his movements would disrupt the placement of the worm."

"Once the worm is in position, withhold the medication." My fingers clench at my side as I watch the mutant's heart rate rise on the screen. "I want to _see_ him suffer."

Roth laughs. "Wouldn't expect anything less from the infamous Shredder."

I keep my eyes on the mutant as I sit in the chair.

Leonardo. Yoshi's prized pupil. The one who has struck me down, foiled years of planning, and poisoned the mind of my daughter. The memories burn, hot as the flames that forged me so long ago.

Elias begins removing some of the bandages from my scalp. He's speaking to me in long sentences I don't care to hear or acknowledge. I let him talk, I let him clean my wounds—I let him place a dozen wires around my skull. Fists clenched, mind seething. I think of her.

"Elias."

He pauses for a moment, one last wire. "What?"

"Bring Karai down here." Tighter, knuckles white. Burning. "I want her to see, too."

~T~

{Karai}

I don't know what to expect when my father summons me to some dark, secret room beneath the building. There are quite a few things running through my mind. But not what I see when the doors are opened.

Not Leo, strapped down to a table, covered with IVs and wires. Not him, not here, not alone and captive and still as the dead.

I can't keep the shock from my expression, even though I know Father is watching for it.

"What're you doing?" My gaze darts to each of them, incredulous. "When did you capture Leonardo?"

But Father dismisses my question, clenching his fists in his seat as Elias places one more wire to his scalp.

"He is ours now. Come, Karai." His eyes lock onto mine, sending fire through my veins. "Watch."

"I stopped the drip." Roth pulls an IV from Leo's arm. A droplet of blood comes to the surface, red against green. "You've got 15 minutes to place the worm."

 _Worm?_

Father stares at me until I walk to his side, standing by the wall, Leo's stiff body in front of me. My stomach is turning into knots. I have a thousand questions, but the air holds no room for them. My voice remains trapped in my throat.

He has no facial expression, no movement whatsoever. Either he's out cold, or they've done something to make him still.

 _Or he's dead._

No, no—his heart rate is on the screen. Respirations, blood pressure, and is that…brain waves?

 _What are they doing?_

Elias puts on a face mask and blue gloves. Roth hands him a glass container. My heart beats against my ribs as the anxiety floods my system. I try to stay stone-faced, but it becomes almost impossible when Elias pulls a wriggling, worm-like machine from the container.

"Connection six," he calls. Roth immediately goes to one of the computers, and after a few clicks, the big screen changes to a camera view.

"Inserting the worm."

The camera view sways, somehow attached to the tiny mutation. The side of Leo's head appears. My stomach twists—are they going to put that thing in his ear?

I clear my throat and try to sound like I don't care. "Where's that thing gonna go?"

Elias hums, focusing. "In a few minutes, it'll be lodged snugly in the mutant's brain."

My heart skips. I remember hearing these two talking, when they first showed up. They were arguing with that idiot Baxter about the possibility of…mind control. Is that what this is? Can they really control Leo's brain?

I don't want to watch, but I can't look away from the screen, from the twisting worm that begins to crawl inside of Leo's ear canal. Pink, curving tunnels appear on the screen.

"Alright, hand me the controls, Roth."

A pit forms in my gut, swallowing everything whole. My breath hitches as more of Leo's insides become visible through the camera. My eyes dart to the floor. I can't remember the last time I felt like I was going to throw up.

I don't know how long I'm staring at the tubes on the floor, terrified and sick to my stomach, but a strange noise brings my gaze back to the table. It starts low, almost guttural, before rising to a high-pitch whine that I can feel in my bones.

His eyes are open now, his pupils tiny pricks in a sea of ice. The awful sound is coming from him.

"Perfect timing," Elias mutters. "I just positioned the worm posterior to his frontal lobe. Roth, start the frequency." Elias straightens his back, hands on his hips as he admires his work. I realize I hate him.

"Saki, just lean back and close your eyes," he instructs. "When we match your frequencies with the worm, I want you to focus on everything you want to transfer over. Feel all of it—relive every second."

Shredder's knuckles are white as he clenches the arms of the chair. Two machines along the wall start to vibrate with a low hum. The screen flashes, now showing wave-like patterns that rise and fall. The beeping changes pitch, getting louder as the waves sharpen.

Leo's fingers start to twitch. Another strangled groan.

"Think, Saki," Roth calls over the rising noise. "Remember everything. Drown yourself in it."

Father's face contorts even further, his brow deeply knit, jaw tight, teeth grinding down—as if every fiber of his being is engaged in some kind of battle.

The panic stirs in my chest. I don't know what's happening—I don't know what's _going_ to happen either. All I can do is stand here and watch the insanity unfold.

~T~

{Oroku Saki}

"Think, Saki."

The night was still, dark, quiet—and cold. There was no breeze, no wind to whisper in the trees, to mask my footsteps. But I went, I found a way inside, armed with steel and pain and rage. The chaos that ensued would change me, us— _everything_ —and break my soul to pieces.

"Remember everything—"

The flames rose quickly, swallowing the world whole. Everything hurt, everything burned. The ashes stung my eyes and smothered my throat.

"Drown yourself in it."

I see their faces, I hear their voices. I feel their words stabbing me like so many daggers. Everyone left me; everyone betrayed me. Everything I ever knew was a lie—a black serpent that would wrap itself around my neck and strangle me until I found the strength to kill it.

But this world is filled with snakes. With liars and thieves. I killed thousands and marked my path in their blood, but it isn't enough, it _can never be enough_ , not until he lies dead at my feet, broken, humiliated, stripped of all the things he stole from me—

 _Hamato Yoshi—_

I will kill him—

 _My so-called brother—_

I will tear his spirit from this world and leave him to the darkness that has snapped at my heels since I was a child. He will face the pain, the torment, the anguish and loneliness—he will drown in all he has cursed me with.

He will die. I will kill him.

The cavern in my chest spits and howls, breaking, cracking; spewing flames and hate and ache. I close my eyes and see it, the red, the yellow, the black. I see my world crumbling, over and over again. I hear her scream, I see her blood, I feel her weight, her absence, her void.

And it consumes me.

~T~

{Leo}

I see a world on fire. I see her eyes, big and brown, reflecting the hell surrounding her, the heat that burns her bloodstains from the floor and chars her bones to ash. I feel her death as if it were my own. It destroys me. My walls are cracked, my doors are broken, and the hatred floods in.

Red. Everything is red. Hot, flaming, burning, smoking—ashes and death and pain and torment. The ache rips through my soul. The despair snatches my face, crushes my bones—it pries open my jaw and pours in, climbing down my throat. Poisoning me, draining me, and then filling me to the brim with liquid fire. All I see is darkness as the serpents rise up beside me. They morph from thick, flaming coils to beasts, screaming, snapping, clawing everything to pieces.

All I know is all that's left. A shell, a hollow corpse I'm forced to reside in. I stitch my skin back to my bone and coax the blood to fill me. Memories surge; the foreign strangles the familiar. Nothing is mine. I am nothing. Nothing but the torrent of pain and rage that left me stripped and gutted.

Red. Ash. Fire. Black.

I'm gone.

I'm gone.

I'm gone.

* * *

 **Aaaannnddd here we go. Say goodbye to our leader in blue, everyone!**


	7. Awakening

**Chapter Six:**

 **Awakening**

 _The sting of cold winter rain  
Somehow I need it to hurt  
You set the ocean aflame  
I'll stand and watch it burn_

 _-The Mask Slips Away, Red_

{Karai}

The silence that follows the relentless screaming is nothing short of unsettling. Father keeps his eyes closed, his body completely relaxed in the chair. Roth and Elias share a questioning glance before Elias clears his throat.

"Mutant, are you with us?"

Leo's body is stone on the table, save for the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Roth crosses the room to Leo's side. "Saki, give him a command. Test the bond."

Father taps his index finger on the arm of the chair. "I already have."

In an instant, the room shifts. Leo's body reanimates, his hand shoots out and grips Roth by the throat. He doesn't even have time to scream before the fingers clench and crush his neck. I flatten myself against the wall, breath lodged in my chest. The sound—God, the _sound_ of bones crunching echoes in my skull.

Roth's eyes roll back into his head as blood bubbles from the corners of his mouth. Elias swears and scrambles to the back of the room as Roth's body drops in a heap below the table.

"Saki!" he shouts. "What're you doing?!"

My father does not answer. He remains in the chair, head down, eyes closed. If he didn't exude hatred from every pore of his being, I'd say he looked at peace.

Leo sits up on the table. His eyes don't look the same. They're deeper, darker—sinister and cold and void of everything Leo has always been. My heart sinks to my gut and freezes over.

Elias knows. Death has us strung to the air by our throats. He tries to run, to reach the door, as if he could possibly escape what he's created. He tries.

But in a moment, he is dead. _Slide, step, crunch._

His mangled body hits the floor, his last breath squeezed up from broken ribs.

The silence returns.


	8. Empty

**Chapter Seven:**

 **Empty**

 _I saw the cracks in the walls  
I painted over them all  
I tried my best to just ignore  
I can't ignore_

 _-Buried Beneath, Red_

[Donnie]

"He's gone, Sensei."

It isn't the first time we've come home and had to utter those words.

It isn't the first time we've watched our father's expression break alongside his heart.

And it isn't the first time we've crawled to our beds, alone, aching, and broken. Our family is broken.

It's been broken before—so many times, it seems—and so far it has always managed to piece itself back together. Maybe not the same as before, but together. Every time it seemed like the world was ending, and looking back, we saw it was merely turning the page.

I want to believe this time is no different. I want to believe that the pieces know their own way by now, and our lives will once again resemble some form of normalcy.

I want to believe…

But somehow, I know.

This time will be different. Because the pieces no longer exist.

…

"Donnie?"

My eyes are open—they've been open for hours, glazed toward the ceiling where I count the cracks in the cement and wonder when our world will fall on our heads.

Mikey comes into the room and closes the door behind him. As he shuffles toward the bed, I try to find the right words to say to ease the pain dripping from our bodies. Why does it feel like last time Leo was gone, I knew what to say? And why do those same words that comforted us then feel so alien and distant now?

I move over. He crawls into bed next to me and lays on his back with a sigh. No cuddling, no crying, no words—he's growing used to this.

And we lay there together, staring up at the same maze of lines above us.

"I'm tired," he mutters.

Yeah," I sigh. "Me too."

Silence fills the space between. The night replays in my head, over and over again, and that awful, hollow sense of loss overcomes me. I feel gouged out; cold and void. I don't know how or from where to even summon the strength to lead our family the way I did before.

Mikey, ever conscious to the thoughts and emotions that seep from my mind and swirl in the air, shifts quietly next to me.

"It's okay, D. I know last time, things got a little messed up. But we're better. I think we're a little stronger now."

I chew on the inside of my lip. I don't want to say what I'm thinking. I don't want to give the horrid images in my brain a form, much less a voice. And somehow, Mikey sees them too.

"I'm still scared," he says quietly. "It feels different… But we'll fix this, right?"

I give a short nod. "We have to."

The door slides open, almost inaudibly. I lift my head up a bit to see Raph's green eyes floating in the doorway.

"Move over," he mumbles, shutting the door behind him. Mikey and I scoot to the side until I'm pressed between the bed and the wall, but I don't complain. He's here—that's what matters.

He grunts, settling in under the covers with a heavy sigh.

"You okay, Raph?" Mikey asks. There's a long pause before he answers, but his eyes are burning fierce.

"Get some sleep," he murmurs. "We have a long day tomorrow…and a lot of asses to kick."


	9. Heavy Water

**I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far...even if the updates are slow and infrequent. The shorter updates make it harder for me to put off writing, so it's been the best way to get this going.**

 **Side Note: I want this story to be a follow-up to Sacrifice. I know a lot of you have read that story, and it's very dear to me, so it's referenced a few times here, especially in the last chapter with Donnie remembering how hard things were the first time they lost Leo.**

 **I want to thank all of you who stay with me during my many hiatuses. Your comments and support keep me coming back again and again, even when life is hectic. You are all so very much appreciated. But I should warn you, this story will be very different from my other ones. I will not attempt to spare any of your hearts from the angst and horror. All of the feels are on the line. From here on out, anything can happen...and probably will.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight:**

 **Heavy Water**

 _Now I wait_

 _This metamorphosis_

 _All that is left is the change_

 _Selfish fate_

 _I think you made me this_

 _Under the water I wait_

 _-Unbecoming, Starset_

[Unknown]

The crunch of his vertebrae between my fingers is the first and only thing that registers in my mind. A dull thud follows, laced with the ghost-like whisper of air leaving his lungs.

It's satisfying.

The movement in the room stops. There is only the quiet beeping of machinery against the walls; red and blue lights flickering behind my eyes. The hissing sound that consumed my skull a moment ago has now receded; a soft whisper that licks the darkened corners of my mind.

There is silence.

"Father…what did you do?"

I turn my head to the sound of her voice. I know her. The amber glint of her eyes plucks a string in the back on my mind. But she looks too much like someone else. Someone gone.

 _Fire, red, ash, black. Empty. Black._

 _Void._

My chest tightens. I look away.

"Testing the water."

The deep voice commands my attention. I whirl around to face the dragon in the corner. His breath is steam, his blood is fire, and his thoughts whisper and hiss, sharp talons dancing amongst my senses.

"Mutant," he says, strong and sharp. "Do you know where you are?"

My voice feels strange as it vibrates up my throat.

 _Dragon._

"I am where you want me to be."

He hums; a lowly sound that I feel under my skin. "Yes, you are… And do you know your name?"

The word flashes in my mind, strung up in pictures and emotions. It comes out from my mouth, raw and untethered.

" _Uragiru._ "

He smiles wide. Teeth upon teeth upon teeth. Skin seared black and red by the fire.

 _Black, empty, ash, void._

"Good." He rises from the chair and stretches his back. "The bond is strong…"

She scoffs. "Wasn't that a little…extreme?" She gestures to the crumpled bodies that litter the floor. "Don't you need them?"

His eyes are on me. In me. Through me. There are worlds beyond his gaze. A reality of suffering and flames, smoke and despair. Images flash from his mind to my own; pain that is forced, shared, dispersed in my bones until the ghosts scream through my blood. I am an extension—the echo of his voice in a chasm of nothingness.

"They forgot their place." My shell speaks the words. "They forgot who they served."

She stares at me; her gaze burns, somehow more fierce than his, but in a way that makes my lungs stiff. My fingers twitch. Her presence is unnerving—irritating and unnecessary. I wish she would leave.

Master nods, his eyes steady, a crashing wave on a stone. No matter how the stone resists, the water will erode it, little by little—until one day, it is nothing but grains of sand, swept away by the foam.

"I have limited use for such narcissistic fools." He glances at the girl. I don't look at her. "You will do well to remember this, Karai. It is a lesson that will only be taught once."

The threat, so thinly veiled, hangs in the air and drapes around her. Even from here, even with my refusal to turn my gaze to her, her unspoken words fill the room. But she knows. I know.

Master owns all—he is all. The dragon's judgement is fire; the remains are ash.

"You are dismissed," he says. "Return to your quarters until I summon you again."

Her resistance is tangible. My hand clenches at my side, aching to feel her bones crack.

"What will you do with him?" she asks. Her voice is too sharp—too proud. The burning intensifies.

"That does not concern you, Karai." His eyes flash. "If you have forgotten who you have sworn to serve as well, I advise you to glance at your feet…while the reminder is still warm."

I follow her eyes to the body by the door whose head is twisted up and backwards. My flesh buzzes with warmth. She exhales a breath with the slightest tremble. From my peripherals, she bows, stiff, relenting.

"…Yes, Father."

With that, she withdraws, closing the door behind her.

And I can finally breathe.


	10. Breaking

**Hey guys! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas/holiday/whatever each of you celebrates! I've been chipping away at this story, so I hope you all don't mind these short updates... it's just easier to get these out, and the shortened length makes it less stressful to work on. The next chapter will be longer though, and full of all the feels. I've got some of it done already, so hopefully I can get it out next week or so. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read and review! And for your continued support and patience in spite of my infrequent updates on here. You all are so very appreciated!**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine:**

 **Breaking**

 _This lack of love and lack of hope_ _  
Leaves me shivering for more  
Grabbed by the violence around  
Stabbed by the silence inside me._

 _-Collision, Plan Three_

[Karai]

I pace about the room to the rhythm of the rain splattering against the windows. I'm beyond exhausted, and I can't sleep. I've tried, but when I close my eyes, all I see is Leo, lying stiff on the table. All I hear is the crunch of bone inside his fist, and the thud of Elias' body hitting the floor. It echoes through my skull.

I don't know where he is right now. I don't know what Father is doing, or going to do. I don't know anything.

And I hate it.

Memories play on a loop in my head. My fists clench every time the cycle starts over. Leo shouldn't be here. How could he let himself get caught? How could he have been so stupid?

I stop, jaw tight. There's a war inside of me that's tearing up my soul. I don't want to _want_ to do anything. I wish I felt nothing toward the situation, like I used to. I wish I could look at his face and see those eyes and _feel nothing_ —but that's not me. Not anymore. The time spent toying with him, engaging in our playful, competitive banter—the dance that we had grown used to doing…it's changed me.

 _And I hate it._

I can't ignore the fact that he's here. No matter how much I wish I could revert back to the stone-heartedness of my past self, I can't. Things have changed, and despite my distaste for it, he's no longer an object for me to play with. He's not an enemy, and he's not a friend…but he is something to me. And when all you've had in life is nothing…something is very hard to let go of.

I close my eyes and exhale. I shouldn't leave the room, but I know I'm going to. I know I'll sneak down the corridors until I find him, and then…

Then?

I don't know.

But two things are certain: He doesn't belong here…

And I'm going to do something about it.

~T~

[Leo]

The darkness is blinding as the cacophony of hisses retreat to the corners of my aching skull. My head bobs, pulling at my spine as my body slumps forward. A sharp _clink_ pricks my senses. I groan, wincing, and try to gather myself. I can't see anything…

 _Clink_.

Chains. I'm…chained?

I try to tug my wrists, but they feel…disconnected, as if the command from my brain isn't reaching the muscles in my arms. Panic stirs, plunging into my mind and tearing through to find a thought that isn't blurry, a memory that isn't distorted. It comes up empty…

And cold.

I swallow and groan again. Everything hurts, but the pain feels distant, like it's outside of me. Or I'm outside of it.

All I can do is breathe, but even this feels as if my lungs are full of sludge. What's happening? Why can't I remember anything?

I try to sit back, to focus on anything but the chill in my bones and the haze in my skull.

 _Come on, focus. Meditate. Find those missing pieces…_

I suddenly become aware of my right hand. It feels…

 _Sticky._

What? I blink as my lips tug into a frown. My muscles still feel awkward, and as I look to my hand, my vision goes in and out. A soft hiss drifts up into my thoughts while I struggle to touch my index finger to my thumb. The skin sticks enough to give an off audible peeling sound when I pull my finger from my thumb. My hand is discolored, almost…almost red. A crimson that has spread up my forearm in a splatter-like pattern…

 _Crunch._

The echo disperses through my hand, and the sudden recall makes my muscles tense, pulling my fingers to a clenched fist.

 _Crunch._

The bones broke—

 _Fire, red, ash—_

They broke between my fingers—

 _Black, empty—_

Splintered in the palm of my hand, like a bundle of twigs—

 _Void—_

And their bodies crumpled in on themselves, twisted, broken; the heavy sound echoing through the room—

 _Void—_

The hissing intensifies, clouding my thoughts, drowning me in images, in the recurring flash of his neck being crushed in my hand—

 _My_ hand—

 _Void—_

It was me.

It was me.

It was _me—_

And I'm screaming.


	11. Uragiru

**Chapter Ten:**

 **Uragiru**

 _And if you could see_

 _The look in her eyes_

 _The wolf wore the sheep_

 _As a perfect disguise_

 _-_ _The Wolf and the Sheep, Alec Benjamin_

[Karai]

His screams stop my feet in their tracks. My heart skips a beat, chased by the raw pain echoing through the hall.

 _Find him._

I clench my jaw and run, throwing stealth to the wind. His cries will mask any sound I could possibly make. I just don't know if he's alone…

 _Find him._

The walls melt past me, blood rushing through my skull as my vision narrows on the stairs ahead. I jump, hit the second stair, and leap down the first flight. I can't hear my feet hit the ground past the hammering in my chest. I repeat—run, step, leap—down three more flights. I spring up, sprinting toward the cells. The corridor is dark, but I know it well. I know the cages that lie in wait around the corner, hopeless and cold. And the thought of Leo in one of them sends heat bubbling through my blood.

The weight of my tanto at my side is the only comfort as I blindly run forth. My fingers wrap the handle. I turn the last hallway and stop at the entrance of the cell, my breath fleeting. The darkness is heavy, but I see him, past the open door of the prison, slumped and chained against the wall. His head lifts to my presence, and even in the black, his blue eyes glisten.

"K-Karai?" His chest heaves. "Karai, what's happening?"

His voice has a sound I've never heard before. Laced with fear, quivering, dripping, aching—broken.

He sounds broken.

"I can't move," he pants. "A-and my hands…"

He looks up at me from the red that stains his fingers. Behind my eyes, Roth and Elias are dying all over again, crumpled to nothing on the floor.

He must remember.

"I don't know what's happening—"

I break my trance and finally take a step into the cell. Kneeling in front of him, I try to find some kind of composure that makes sense.

"Leo." _Stay calm, stay calm_. "It's okay—you're okay. I'm going to help you." I reach for his hand, for the thick chains that wrap his wrists. "But you need to keep quiet—"

"No!" He jerks his head away from me—the only thing he seems able to move. "Don't touch me—stay back, Karai, please—"

I move my hand away, keeping my gaze locked to his.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says, jaw clenched.

I force a smile. "You couldn't if you tried, Leo. Now keep quiet and let me get you out of those chains so you can go home."

His eyes light up at the word. My smile becomes less forced, and I slip a small coin from a pocket I stitched to the inside of my sleeve.

"Your brothers are probably going crazy," I continue, holding my calm demeanor. "Any minute now, they're gonna come busting in here like a bunch of idiots. It's best if we bring you to them before they try to come to us."

"Okay," he breathes. "Okay...just hurry up."

I nod. "Now hold still." He watches with big eyes as I start to unwind a thin wire from the outer part of the coin.

"A wire?" There's a flash in the blue. "That's going to take forever! Are you trying to get us caught?"

 _There you are._

"I'm trying to be discreet," I quip. "I could chop your hands off if you'd like. I imagine that would be faster."

"Not if you did it with the wire."

My smirk quickly melts away at the sound of shouting somewhere on the floors above. Guess there's no time to be discreet.

I tuck the coin back into my sleeve, get to my feet, and pull out my blade, gripping the handle with both hands. His eyes widen.

"What're you doing?"

"Spread your hands as far apart as you can."

He shakes his head, frantic, with his hands slumped awkwardly in his lap. "I can't _move_ , Karai—"

"Yes, you can!" I snap, knuckles white. "It's _your_ body, Leo."

"But I—"

" _Now!_ "

He clenches his eyes shut, trying to focus, and the effort is so intense that his veins bulge on his neck and forehead. His wrists flex, and slowly he begins to lift his hands and spread them apart.

"Good, see?" I adjust my footing. "Now just try to hold them there."

I swing my tanto at the chains with all of the force I can muster—and apparently, it's enough to bring Leo's entire body down with it. The chains break with a loud _snap_ that echoes through the dungeon and masks the sound of Leo's face smacking the floor.

I kick them aside and quickly tuck my arm beneath his.

"Get control of yourself," I hiss under the weight of his limp body. "Stand up and walk—give it everything you've got."

The sweat on his brow gleams over the freshly forming bruise. "I'm trying."

I half-carry, half-drag his body from the cell. I know he was drugged. I'm sure the effects still have a strong hold on his muscles, but now is the worst possible time to be pulling his sorry ass around.

We're both panting heavily as we round the corner. The muscles around my spine are screaming bloody murder. If we survive this, I'm not going to be able to walk for a week.

"Try harder," I spit. My skin is flushed. The voices are getting louder. My heart sputters in my chest, frantically pumping blood to burning limbs.

 _There has to be another way…_

My eyes catch the glint of a door handle across the hall.

"Karai…" He winces and stumbles. I almost collapse under the added weight.

 _Screw this._

I lunge forward, yanking him along with me, and snatch the handle. I rip it open and shove his body in there with so much force, something in my shoulder tears.

 _Damn it—_

Leo gasps and barely manages to catch himself on the back wall of the closet space. He quickly slides to the ground with a heaving chest and bulging veins.

"Stay down and shut up." I press my back against the adjacent wall as the door closes on us. I grab my injured shoulder with my other hand and squeeze hard. The pain spreads like lightning, the jolts in sync with my pounding heart.

I want to close my eyes. I want to slip to the floor in a heap of sweat and pain and disappear, but I don't. I keep my gaze locked on the thin light beneath the door and my ears trained on the sound of footsteps closing in. At this angle, if they open the door, I can slit their throats before they touch us. But we're cornered in a small space, growing more useless by the second. My muscles are searing and Leo is fading.

"Stay with me," I whisper sharply.

"Karai..." he mumbles again. "...I killed them."

I swallow the image down, but the sound resonates. "Shut up."

He blinks heavily and draws his gaze to meet mine. "Didn't I?"

My nostrils flare. "It wasn't you."

He groans, barely managing to lift a hand to cover his face. "I…I don't feel good…"

My jaw clenches and I have to close my eyes. Just for a second. The chaos in my head is a million ghosts, screaming at me, cursing me. I should've stayed in my room. I shouldn't have come down here—what the hell was I thinking? I can't get him out, and now we're stuck in a damn _closet_ with no exit in sight. My father's idiots will find us and we'll be dead in no time—

 _No…no, not yet…not yet…_

I can't die yet. My fingers tighten on the handle of my blade. I won't be executed like a damn prisoner.

"Stay with me," I grit. "Don't you fucking pass out, Leo."

"Just go, Karai," he mumbles. I can feel him giving up. "Before they find us...you can still get out of this."

My voice solidifies. "I'm not leaving without you."

The words surprise me. He looks up at me with equal confusion. My face steels over and I focus on the door, ready for it to open.

A silence passes between us. It's thick with emotion that I can't place—that I refuse to acknowledge enough to decipher. I feel it from him, the questions he won't ask, the answers I won't give. It's the draw the games we play always come to. The thing left unspoken.

I close my eyes again, and suddenly, the feeling is gone.

"I don't hear them," he says calmly. He's staring at the line under the door. "Do you?"

I blink, regaining composure to realize that he's right—I don't hear anything anymore. The footsteps, the shouting…it's stopped.

"Maybe they gave up?" he asks quietly.

I bite the inside of my cheek. I'm about to say that it doesn't make any sense, but then again, the Foot soldiers _are_ idiots. Still…

I open the door, slow, steady, blade raised in anticipation. I motion for him to stay where he is, ignoring the fact that he can't get up anyway. The door moves silently until I'm standing in the opening and met with a dark, empty hallway.

There's nothing. They didn't even come to this side of the floor. Were they even looking for us?

My skin prickles as a question comes to mind.

"Leo…why was no one guarding you?"

The world slows then, as the heel of his foot comes down on my lower back. I feel myself falling, my balance ripped from me like the air from my lungs. I hit the ground, elbows first, and the shock licks my bones. His fingers curl around the back of my neck. He lifts my body from the cold cement as if I weigh nothing and throws me backward against the wall. My lungs aren't expanding, my chest restricted by pain and bewilderment and terror. I can't breathe, I can't think or move—all I can do is stare into Leo's eyes—eyes as cold and dead as the farthest reaches of space. The realization freezes my feet to the floor.

I've underestimated my father.


	12. Under

**Chapter Eleven:**

 **Under**

 _What's hidden here with me?_

 _Thought I was alone_

 _But it pulls me deeper now_

 _I can't escape_

 _-Buried Beneath, Red_

[Karai]

"Leo! Leo, stop—let go of me— _ah!"_

His grip tightens on my injured shoulder. I spit out a curse, kicking and twisting as he continues to drag me down the hallway.

"This isn't you!" I plead. The desperation is at its peak. I know the situation has spiraled completely out of my control, and the panic is cold as ice in my blood. I should've known better.

My face is bunched in turmoil; my soul is on fire. I punch him repeatedly with my good hand to no avail. My tanto is somewhere behind us, my other arm is shit right now after tearing that muscle, and he's walking so fast my legs can barely keep up beneath me.

"Please, Leo!" He won't look at me, but even if he did, those eyes wouldn't be his. "Leo, just _stop—_ "

"He cannot hear you, Karai."

I look up past the strands of hair sticking to my face. Father's standing there in front of the cell I had just helped Leo escape from, his arms crossed, dull eyes locked on me as Leo tosses me to the floor in a heap.

I land on my side and grimace, immediately grabbing my shoulder to rub the burning pain from the muscle.

My throat becomes clogged as I stare into his face. I want to scream at him, to curse him and spit out every thought I've ever had to keep to myself—but in this moment, I'm defeated. Defeated, defenseless, and caught in the midst of betraying him.

I've lost.

"You seem at a loss," he says with a low tone. He takes a step in my direction. "Have things not gone as planned?"

He begins to circle me. My fist clenches, nails digging into the palm of my hand. I hate him.

"How strange that the loyalty of my enemy is now greater than that of my own daughter."

The muscles in my jaw bunch. I stare at the floor, beads of sweat trailing down my face.

"Whatever you're going to do, do it," I growl. He stops in front of me, looming over my crumpled frame. I dare to meet his gaze—fire upon fire. "Don't play games with me."

His boot flashes across my vision. My head snaps to the side with a spray of blood-tinged spit.

" _I_ am not the one playing _games_ , Karai." He sounds like a demon. "Grab her."

My head is still spinning when Leo's hands wrap my waist and haul me up on uneasy feet. I'm held tight against his chest, secured by arms almost as thick as my head. My thoughts are broken. Leo has never been a threat—not even when he tried so damn hard to pretend. And now he's probably going to kill me.

 _That's not him_. The reminder is bitter. _That's not Leo._

"Put her in the cell and chain her."

The command jerks Leo's body forward. I dig my heels into the floor and twist my body—terrified, wild, and hopeless. I'm pushed past the cell gate and forced against the back wall, his arm heavy on my back as he reaches for the new set of chains my father must've laid out after I broke the other ones with my tanto.

"Leo," I pant, struggling against him. "Leo, please—listen to me—"

He snatches my left wrist and closes the shackle tight. The metallic sound grates in my head—the sound of my life slipping away.

"I know you're in there! I know you—"

I gasp as he suddenly whirls me around and slams me back into the brick. His hands shoot to my throat. They clamp down, thumbs pressed together, crushing my voice, squeezing the air from my chest. My lower body tenses before going limp with fright; my jaw hangs open, both arms tucked behind me, useless and strained—

"You don't know him anymore."

The blood is thick in my head. Father's voice is so loud against the rush. Leo's eyes bore into mine. They're cloaked with death—his expression cold as stone.

"He is mine to command," Father continues. "And he will obey."

My body is tingling with a thousand tiny pins. I can feel the wet heat of tears gathering on the rims of my eyes.

"L-Leo… Leo, pl-ease—"

"Tell her what you're going to do, Uragiru."

His eyes never leave mine. The voice that comes from his expressionless face belongs to him, but the words don't—and the combination is frightening.

"I am to kill the enemy." The black void of his gaze swallows me. "And anyone who stands in my way."

He releases me then. I collapse, my lungs heaving for relief beyond the burning pain that consumes my every fiber. My vision wanes and waxes. He clamps the shackle on my other wrist, but I'm too drained, too faded to fight it. My heart slams into my ribs. My head throbs. My limbs are numb. It's all I can do to simply stay conscious and breathe—and watch as Leo steps from the cell and closes the gate on me with a heavy _clank_.

A lock clicks. And with it, my fate is sealed.

"Hamato Yoshi must die." Father's voice drifts through the room. "I have wasted too much time trying to end him by my own hand. My clan has failed me. My own cursed body has failed me. And you…" His eyes fall heavily on me. "You were the only one who could have done it. But I see now which side you have chosen."

He turns away from me slowly with a trialing gaze, as if it's the last time he will ever look at me.

"When I have my victory…when the _stain_ that has plagued my honor for so long has finally been lifted…I shall see that you answer to your treason."

He slips something from his pocket and hands it to Leo.

"It is time. You know what to do."

Leo turns on his heels down the hall in the opposite direction without a glance toward me. Father stands there a moment more, hands at his side. He exhales deeply and walks off into the darkened corridor, disappearing from my view.

And then, only then, as the silence settles, as the shadows slowly surround me, do I hang my head and let the muffled sobs spill from my bloodied lips.

~T~

[Donnie]

The Lair is cold, quiet, and drenched in a familiar, heavy feeling. Pain, defeat, emptiness, shame—it's all there, sticking to our skin and clouding our thoughts.

We migrated from my room in the middle of the night to our separate spaces. Mikey is sitting on the floor in front of the TV, but nothing's on. Last I checked, he was simply there, staring at his feet in silence. Raph went to Leo's room over an hour ago to gather his thoughts. He's never been one for meditation, but the fear these last several hours have brought, along with the terror of history repeating itself… Well, it's been enough to put him in a stupor. One that even his boundless rage hasn't been able to touch.

I'm slumped in my chair, tapping my pencil on the map sprawled out before me. Being in my lab feels stiff and uncomfortable—so much so that I've propped the door open. I don't believe I've ever done that before.

My temples ache. My brain is cloaked in a fog that no amount of coffee has been able to shake. I groan, rubbing the spot above my left eye that continues to throb.

I can't think. How useful can I be to Leo without even being able to comprehend simple lines and measurements? I stare dumbly at the faint circles I've drawn over areas where Foot activity has been the highest, but it isn't enough. They could have taken Leo anywhere.

 _He could be dead by now._

I slam my fist on the table. My coffee cup rattles and falls off the edge of my desk, shattering to a hundred pieces on the floor. I curse and throw my pencil across the room before leaning over to start cleaning up the mess.

"You okay, Donnie?"

Mikey's voice cracks the silence of the lab. I nearly jump from my seat to see him leaning in the doorway, unsure if he's allowed to come in.

"What? Oh…yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, I just..." I sigh and rub my forehead again. "I just spilled my drink, that's all."

His fingers drum the side of the door. "Need some help?"

I shake my head and grab a nearby rag to mop up the splatter. "No, I'm okay. It's just…"

My voice trails off when a faint beeping catches my attention. I spot my T-phone on the floor—it must've gotten knocked off the desk too.

"Just…what?" Mikey asks, stepping into the room with caution.

The realization hits me like a brick. I stand up so fast, my chair spirals out from underneath me and rolls into the wall. I snatch the device and ignore the fact that I'm stepping in coffee. My eyes scour the screen and the soft blinking light makes my heart leap into my throat.

"Raph!" Mikey yells out into the hallway. "Raph, come here!"

Mikey runs to my side just as Raph comes tearing down the hallway and stumbling into the lab.

"What?" he shouts, breathless, clinging to the doorway. "What is it?"

I look up at the both of them, my T-phone clutched tightly in my hand.

"It's Leo."


	13. Ticking

**Short update! Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Enjoy~**

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve:**

 **Ticking**

 _I'm falling apart_  
 _Inside your holographic heart_  
 _Lost souls dancing_  
 _And now the lie's collapsing_

 _-Bringing it Down, Starset_

[Raph]

"Are we getting close?"

The Shellrazor rumbles over the wet streets. The rain has stopped, but the sky is still shrouded in a heavy gray.

Donnie checks the beeping tracker. I feel like I've been staring at that tiny, faint yellow dot for hours.

 _Leo._

"We're a few minutes away." His brow furrows. "Looks like he's…by the pier."

Mikey sticks his head up over my shoulder to watch. "The pier? Why would he be there?"

"Who cares?" I snap. "It doesn't matter where he is—just matters that he's okay."

"Well, he activated the GPS on his T-phone, so we know he's alive," Donnie mutters.

My grip tightens on the back of Donnie's seat. "That's enough."

The vehicle groans as Donnie pulls it into a sharp turn. Water splashes above the wheels, spraying the sidewalks. Covered by a dark, narrow alleyway, Donnie parks and opens the door.

"Be careful," he chides. "Move slow, be stealthy—we don't know who might be out here with him."

I whip out my sai. "But we know they're not gonna get away."

We sneak out the Shellrazor with the pier in sight. It's empty and quiet, save for the waves sloshing along the docks. Donnie nods at us and we split up. I go to the right, pressing my back against the large metal shipping containers. Mikey slips off to the left, and Donnie keeps centered.

We're silent as we move down the pier. My frown deepens—I don't see anything—

" _Pst."_

I glance at Donnie. He motions toward a stack of rusted, peeling crates I stop and wait for him and Mikey to slink to my side.

"Over there," Donnie whispers. The light blinks, steady on the screen. "Mikey, climb up the top. Raph and I will go around the sides."

"Got it, D."

Mikey's movements are fluid as always—well, almost always—as he effortlessly hoists himself up on the bottom crate and scales the rest. He turns back from his point of surveillance and gives a thumbs up. Donnie and I move, splitting up to either side, shells against the old metal. I stop at the corner and count under my breath.

 _One…two…go—_

Donnie and I whip around the corners of the crates at the same time as Mikey drops down. I'm not sure what we were expecting—Shredder, an army, an ambush of some kind—but all we see is Leo curled up against the farthest wall, clutching his T-phone to his chest.

"Leo!" Mikey drops his nunchucks and runs into the opened crate. I lunge after him and snatch him by the back of his shell, yanking him behind me.

"Hey—"

"He's bleeding, Donnie!" I shout. A deep cut on his forehead glistens with fresh blood. His eyes are clenched shut.

"Mikey, move," Donnie huffs as he shoulders our brother aside. "Let me see him."

He kneels beside Leo and examines the plethora of scratches and welts. "Leo, can you hear me?"

A low groan is the only response. The crease between Donnie's eyes deepens.

"Raph, can you—"

"I got him." I'm at Leo's side in an instant, tucking my hands gently beneath his arms to lift him over my shoulder. He's whispering something under his breath, but it doesn't sound coherent. I pat his shell and swallow past the lump in my throat.

"You're okay, Fearless," I mutter. "We've got you now."


End file.
